When I lived in Baghdad, (people) would slap themselves in the face when a woman would give birth to a girl. (They) were worried about how much money she would cost them, which man would take her, (whether) she would be a good girl or not…all of those things. My mother and father had one boy and one girl. My brother and sister. (People) said to my mother, “you need to give birth to another boy. That would be a good thing to happen. You need to have another son.” And (she) got pregnant, and (she) gave birth to me. (People) say that when my father heard that my mother had given birth to a girl, he didn’t speak to her for three weeks. But no matter. (He) started…(to see me as though) I was his daughter. He would take me wherever he went, and teach me, and (it was) good…I was by his side a lot. When I was ten years old, we came to America. And my mother started thinking. She was afraid to speak. How much (money) will we (need to) bring a man for this (girl)? How much will this girl cost? How much money will she need?I heard (this) and said, “what are you talking about? I won’t take him (a man)! He should love me. I don’t want money! He shouldn’t need a (financial) deal in order to take me.” She said, “if you don’t find someone to take you, what will you do? What will all of us do?” I said to her, “no…I won’t get married. What’s wrong with that?” She said to me, “your death (would happen) before you not getting married. Your death (would happen) before (that).”

 

I want to tell you about how my parents met and got married.marriage in the days we lived in Baghdad, Iraq. Of course I wasn’t there, but this is what they told me.

In 1926, my mother was 22 and the oldest of the children in the family.  My father was 32 and had just returned from living in Iran.  (He was there for ten years.  He left Baghdad when WWI started and returned to get married, have children, and live there.)  

When it was time to marry, the mothers normally (most of the time) contacted the dallala.  The dallala brings a girl for the boy and a boy for the girl.  She brought Moshi for Naima and Naima for Moshi.  The family of each checked the other family and they said okay.  So, one afternoon, Moshi’s mother and two sisters went to Naima’s home to view her.  That night, the women told Moshi she is the one for him.  The servant overheard it and said the yes, she knows Naima.  Very nice and plump.  Moshi said he will not marry a plump woman.  The woman tried to persuade him that she was not plump, but he insisted that he has to see her himself with his own eyes.

Moshi’s family sent a servant to Naima’s home to say that he wants to come the following afternoon to view Naima.  Her father got upset and said that they already showed her.  Her mother pointed out that Naima was already 22 and the oldest of the children, and she convinced the father in agreeing to the visit.

Moshi and his brother-in-law, Yacoub, arrived the following afternoon.  Naima got up and offered them some candy.  Moshi agreed that she is not fat and agreed to the marriage.  They fetched the rabbi who wrote up the kattuba, spelling out the terms of the marriage.

I have the kattuba.  It is signed by Moshi and her father.  Naima’s name is not mentioned.  The boldest/darkest part spells out how much money he would have to give her if he divorced her.

They married, had a son and two daughters.  They moved to America.  They were married 39 years, until he died.

?A: šašša
Oh dear!
Every woman that gives birth,
in the sixth day (after the birthday),
for the purpose of the woman's health,
the woman and the child's,
they used to call the children,
and they used to distribute to them,
they used to mix seeds, and hummus (seeds), and almond, and pistachio,
they used to mix all this,
(and also) chocolate,
and they used to distribute it to the children.
This is called šašša.
and they used to break a jar,
or something of the kind (literally: see what they have).
(they used to take) its (broken) pieces,
they used to bring turmeric,
melt it with water,
and put it...
they used to spread the (broken) pieces (of a jar) with (this mixture, and give a piece
to) each one (of the children).
This is šašša.

B: What?
What did they do to the (broken) piece?
A: They used to bring this turmeric,
(and) to knead it,
and each child,
They used to spread his (broken) piece (of jar) with turmeric.
B: I have never heard of that.
I have never seen it.
C: Like henna?
A: Yes,
This turmeric is like henna.
B: And why did they use to do this?
A: (to protect) against the evil eye.
They used to do that on the sixth day (after the birth day).
B: Yes,
I know,
They used to do šašša,
But I don't know about turmeric.
A: They used to break a jar. (rhetorically: didn't they use to break a jar?)
B: Yes.
Of course. (rhetorically: otherwise?)
A: And they used to put it for them in the jar...
in the (broken) piece.
B: And they used to put corn (grains).
A: Corn (grains was put) with the šašša.
B: Yes.
C: And what is dǝqqāt?
B: Just a minute,
just a minute,
but...
What did they use to say?
šašša!
šašša!
A: Yes.
B: What did they use to scream?
What did they use to sing?
A: They used to sing:
šašša!
They children used to have fun.
"šašša and the house of their father is filled".
The life in Iraq was really beautiful.
C: And what is dǝqqāt?
A: This was also on the sixth day,
either they used to bring talc,
or turmeric again.
they used to knead it as well,
and they used to (put it on the tip of their finger and to) hit (and paint) the wall with
it.
they used to make finger (shapes).
Seven dots.
This (was painted) against the evil eye over the head of the women (above her bed).

A: Ah, when she was born, at the time of birth, she (the mother) was cold, she was cold. Xālda (the mother). They brought her a hot bottle, they put it between her legs. Rimōn (the baby) came down, she fell down on the hot bottle. The hot bottle is very hot. And she is, naturally, "fresh meat". And she… got all burned. And she is crying and… that.

?B: How old was she

A: A second. She just came down.

B: Wow.

A: And she is crying. And they say, No, she doesn't have a thing. They, the small children, when… when they just come to the world they start crying. And then, what do they see? (Rhetorical – meant as a fact - this is what they see)

C: She was one day old or something. (only) one day.

A: What do they see? (Rhetorical – meant as a fact - this is what they see). And good that Alīza (the baby's aunt) was with her in the hospital. They are changing her, they bath her and are changing her, (to) Rimṓn. She was just… She told them: What is it? Alīza (said). They told her, No, nothing, there is nothing. And she, all of her, was burnt really severely. And there was a mess about her in the hospital, and they wanted to fire the nurses from the hospital because… they (almost) killed her, they damaged the girl. And poor her (she was) forty days in the hospital.

B: Wow. A: They brought her fish oil. Till (the blisters) really dried a bit, and they took her home. And poor her, (the burn scars) remained. A small baby. Maybe… she wasn't even 7 days old. Poor her, what she suffered. Wow.

A: You fry meat, If you want to put meat in it. And if (it is) without meat, you fry onion and a little bit of oil, and you put a little bit of water to it… tomato paste with it. Also you bring .parsley. You chop a bundle of parsley and one of mint into small pieces.

?B: And what 

A: Mint. You chop it, you mix it together in… and you throw it on the water or the meat. And if it is without meat, put kǝbba. These small (kind of) kǝbba. Yes. you put it, And you add sour and sweet (ingredients) to it. We (used to) do it with… we don't have it (anymore). What's the name of this sour (ingredient)? Tamarind. Or lemon. a lemon… If you don't have tamarind, you squeeze a lemon, and you add sugar to it, And a little bit of salt. You pour it on the chard and the (parsley and mint). And you throw kǝbba on it. That's it.

?E: How much turnip

A: It depends on you. (Literally: isn't it your will?) According to the amount that you want to cook

 

 A: so I…. during that time… The lawyer ˀAnwar Šaˀūl, (who was) a poet and writer, you know… I was always in contact with him, Yes. He told me: Abraham, would you do me a favor? I told him: What's going on? he said: when I got married, the first (Iraqi) pilot, Nāği…

.B: Nāği, the pilot

A: Nāği, the pilot. When I got married, what did he give me as a present? He gave me the lid of a bomb, the one that hits an airplane. Its lid. and he wrote on it: "A gift for my marriage" and that. And there was another piece with it. Another piece of which I managed to get rid. But this lid, I am afraid to put it at home. It was the first Friday after the (Six Day's War), I told him: Wait! I will come. I went to their house. And I took it and put it in the (shopping) basket.

?...B: So he was afraid that they will catch him and

A: He was afraid… they (the Iraqi authorities) were searching the houses, they (the Jews) were afraid. Yes. Because it was (easy) to say what it is if you… it's clear what it is. I put it in the… (I put) it in the basket. And I put an eggplant on top of it. (laughs) Eggplant and tomatoes and I don't know what (else). As if it (was used for) vegetables. Yes. I put it in my car and I brought someone with me, a friend of mine from our relatives, I told him: Come with me. He (this friend) was a coward. B: And he knew, Or didn't he (know)?

A: No, He didn't know. Yes. I told him: Come with me. I took him and we drove the car through Bǝġdād ᵊğ-Ğadīda road, It was a new road they made from… the Tigris River till Dyāla. And it cuts Bǝġdād ᵊğ-Ğadīda from its edge and it became a place of parks and gardens and that. But in the mornings there was not a lot of traffic there (literally: there is no one driving in it so much). I took him with me and I sat down in the car. I told him: I am looking in the mirror, if I don't see a car behind me, people coming from behind, you, wherever it is, throw it from the door. Throw it and we will get rid of it. Indeed I came, I saw there isn't… we saw a piece of land with water and plantation that grows in it, I told him: Go ahead! Throw it! Indeed he threw it into the water and we came back. We came back to my house, suddenly I see that ˀAnwar Šaˀūl and another friend of mine were sitting there…

?B: Wait a minute! It means that (you didn't throw it) into the water of the river

...A: no, not in the river

B: But his name is written on it... A: No, no! We threw it just like this on the ground… It didn't have the name of ˀAnwar Šaˀūl on it. "My gift on the occasion of…" Yes. Indeed we threw it and got rid of it. 

 

?A: Where was your grandfather

     .B: He was in... they origin is in... the father of my grandfather... they are Baghdadis

and there was some illness in Baghdad... this plague... I don't know what

.and every day thousands died

.A: They died (literally: they went), yes

,B: Many jews fled from Baghdad

,like my grandfather

,the father of my father

.he came to live in Ḥǝlli

?A: In Ḥǝlli or in Čǝfǝl

.B: Ḥǝlli

,my grandfather... the father... the father of my mother

,they lived in Čǝfǝl

,and they stayed in Čǝfǝl

,And he started to work

,to lease lands from the Turkish government

.he even leased the cemetery of Naǧaf

?ok

.And he had a house in Naǧaf

And my mother used to remember it... she said we had lived 6 months in Naǧaf

?there, ok

,And this cemetery of Naǧaf

,nobody got to be buried there (means: it was very difficult to get to be buried

there)

,it... was leased from the government in like... was leased in 100,000 Lira or 200,000

.and he had to give them

?ׁׁ(And every... but from where did he get (money

,Everyone that they (someone) wanted to be bury

.they took... from them money

,like... 20... 20... cents 30 cents

,I don't know

.it was in... in the time of the Turks, yes

,he used to lease it

and he leased lands from the government, like the... these taxes of tithe that were

.taken from the crops and from that, yes

?A: They used to lease it

,B: They leased it

,they were proposed... in a bid, yes

,like... 100,000... Lira, 20,000 Lira

.It... the bridges these are all... all bids

.C: The tollways

.B: Tollways , yes, they yes... took

.A: And they collected

.B: The collected the money and gave it to the government

.if they earned, they earned, if they lost, they lost

.(its like ( this

.the government didn't interfere

.yes

,He came to... later all this business moved to Šamīyi

.he came to Šamīyi

,When he came to Šamīyi

,it was) a town full of swampsׂ)

.(there was no land, yes (literally: you want a piece of land in it, there isn’t

...They started

,they started... there was one who had a piece... a piece of land near his house

,he told them

.friends, come build a shack in it

.(A: And live (there

B: And live,

what's the problem?

there was no sand to bury in it (literally: sand in which you want to bury there isn't),

you understand?

Not... a town of swamps... water all around it,

The land,

when you step on it your leg sinks and water comes out.

OK.

then... but they came,

They came and made like... this... a... a big house all made out of this... of cane and

bamboo weaves and from... this.

There wasn't any building (literally, rhetorically: what was a building?)

There wasn't any building.

and they lived,

they lived in it,

and they brought... these beds and everything and...

and they slept in it,

they split it... a part for the women a part for the men, yes, that.

They stayed for a while till... one day they woke up early... they woke up early and

they see that all their land is flooded and... ok?

(laughs)

And they... the... the... the... the water reached half...

A: To the knee.

B: To the knee... yes indeed.

(laughs)

after all it... was a swamp.

A: A leak.

B: Yes.

Afterwards he started to work... my grandfather

he piled and arranged pieces of land (literally - this is a piece of land and he piled it

and made it),

and slowly slowly Šamīyi became a town.

Its streets... the streets that were made in the end... water used to run in them,

A: Water.

B: Like... like...

A: Venice.

B: Like Venice...

yes, indeed, like Venice.

it was like...

and the water came out to the lake and the Euphrates spills in it,

disgusting.

And the mosquitos ate us,

(laughs)

The mosquitos used to kill us.

D: Where was it, in Diwanīyi?

B: No, in Šamīyi.

D: So you lived also in Šamīyi?

B: What?

It... our origin... they came from... he... their origin is in Čǝfǝl,

my mother was born in Čǝfǝl,

my maternal uncles are born in Čǝfǝl.

But later when...

A: What's the distance between Šamīyi and Čǝfǝl?

B: About sixty kilometers...

A: Sixty kilometers back in these days was... a long distance.

B: But how was it?

There were no streets.

We used to go... they used to take a mǝšḥūf (a kind of boat),

we traveled with the mǝšḥūf to Čǝfǝ...

A: What is a mǝšḥūf?

C: A boat.

B: This... like that in Venice.

You know this... this... this...?

D: Ah!

A: Like a gondola.

B: Gondola.

Yes, like a gondola.

Its like that... high from here and from here...

A: And the land like that... doesn't have this?

B: Yes, no (on the contrary) it has,

and we sat in it and... we traveled with it.

like once we came from Hǝndīyi to Šamīyi,

it was some holiday,

We had a big boat, like that that ships seeds,

able to carry 50 ton, with a sail, you know.

A: Yes, yes, yes...

B: We put mattress...

A: Mhāyla (another type of boat).

B: A big mhāyla.

And we came with it from Hǝndīyi to... to Šamīyi.

It is a long distance.

We took off from there at... around four in the afternoon,

it was summer,

we arrived at Čǝfǝl... we arrived at Čǝfǝl at around the middle of the night,

we rested in Čǝfǝl with friends... we stayed there with them,

and we took off at dawn... we took again the... in it (the boat),

so that... there are places in which the bridge stops (working),

They have like fixed hours,

so that we will reach it before they close it,

this bridge of Kūfa.

And this... we traveled through Kūfa till we arrived in Šamīyi the day after in the

afternoon.

There was nothing (literaly rhetorically: what was there?),

no cars...

A: That means... that means that from Čǝfǝl to... to Šamīyi how long does it take with

the mhāyla?

B: From Čǝfǝl to Šamīyi with the mhāyla ... about four-five hours.

A: Four-five hours.

B: Yes, yes, yes

A: It means four-five hours for sixty kilometers.

It means you travel twelve kilometers in one hour.

B: And this is with a sail... if the wind came and that...

C: It is not a plain road,

it (the road) needs to be shown to them,

so that he sees the land.

B: Yes, yes.