I want to tell you about how my parents met and got married.marriage in the days we lived in Baghdad, Iraq. Of course I wasn’t there, but this is what they told me.

In 1926, my mother was 22 and the oldest of the children in the family.  My father was 32 and had just returned from living in Iran.  (He was there for ten years.  He left Baghdad when WWI started and returned to get married, have children, and live there.)  

When it was time to marry, the mothers normally (most of the time) contacted the dallala.  The dallala brings a girl for the boy and a boy for the girl.  She brought Moshi for Naima and Naima for Moshi.  The family of each checked the other family and they said okay.  So, one afternoon, Moshi’s mother and two sisters went to Naima’s home to view her.  That night, the women told Moshi she is the one for him.  The servant overheard it and said the yes, she knows Naima.  Very nice and plump.  Moshi said he will not marry a plump woman.  The woman tried to persuade him that she was not plump, but he insisted that he has to see her himself with his own eyes.

Moshi’s family sent a servant to Naima’s home to say that he wants to come the following afternoon to view Naima.  Her father got upset and said that they already showed her.  Her mother pointed out that Naima was already 22 and the oldest of the children, and she convinced the father in agreeing to the visit.

Moshi and his brother-in-law, Yacoub, arrived the following afternoon.  Naima got up and offered them some candy.  Moshi agreed that she is not fat and agreed to the marriage.  They fetched the rabbi who wrote up the kattuba, spelling out the terms of the marriage.

I have the kattuba.  It is signed by Moshi and her father.  Naima’s name is not mentioned.  The boldest/darkest part spells out how much money he would have to give her if he divorced her.

They married, had a son and two daughters.  They moved to America.  They were married 39 years, until he died.

?A: šašša
Oh dear!
Every woman that gives birth,
in the sixth day (after the birthday),
for the purpose of the woman's health,
the woman and the child's,
they used to call the children,
and they used to distribute to them,
they used to mix seeds, and hummus (seeds), and almond, and pistachio,
they used to mix all this,
(and also) chocolate,
and they used to distribute it to the children.
This is called šašša.
and they used to break a jar,
or something of the kind (literally: see what they have).
(they used to take) its (broken) pieces,
they used to bring turmeric,
melt it with water,
and put it...
they used to spread the (broken) pieces (of a jar) with (this mixture, and give a piece
to) each one (of the children).
This is šašša.

B: What?
What did they do to the (broken) piece?
A: They used to bring this turmeric,
(and) to knead it,
and each child,
They used to spread his (broken) piece (of jar) with turmeric.
B: I have never heard of that.
I have never seen it.
C: Like henna?
A: Yes,
This turmeric is like henna.
B: And why did they use to do this?
A: (to protect) against the evil eye.
They used to do that on the sixth day (after the birth day).
B: Yes,
I know,
They used to do šašša,
But I don't know about turmeric.
A: They used to break a jar. (rhetorically: didn't they use to break a jar?)
B: Yes.
Of course. (rhetorically: otherwise?)
A: And they used to put it for them in the jar...
in the (broken) piece.
B: And they used to put corn (grains).
A: Corn (grains was put) with the šašša.
B: Yes.
C: And what is dǝqqāt?
B: Just a minute,
just a minute,
but...
What did they use to say?
šašša!
šašša!
A: Yes.
B: What did they use to scream?
What did they use to sing?
A: They used to sing:
šašša!
They children used to have fun.
"šašša and the house of their father is filled".
The life in Iraq was really beautiful.
C: And what is dǝqqāt?
A: This was also on the sixth day,
either they used to bring talc,
or turmeric again.
they used to knead it as well,
and they used to (put it on the tip of their finger and to) hit (and paint) the wall with
it.
they used to make finger (shapes).
Seven dots.
This (was painted) against the evil eye over the head of the women (above her bed).

A: Ah, when she was born, at the time of birth, she (the mother) was cold, she was cold. Xālda (the mother). They brought her a hot bottle, they put it between her legs. Rimōn (the baby) came down, she fell down on the hot bottle. The hot bottle is very hot. And she is, naturally, "fresh meat". And she… got all burned. And she is crying and… that.

?B: How old was she

A: A second. She just came down.

B: Wow.

A: And she is crying. And they say, No, she doesn't have a thing. They, the small children, when… when they just come to the world they start crying. And then, what do they see? (Rhetorical – meant as a fact - this is what they see)

C: She was one day old or something. (only) one day.

A: What do they see? (Rhetorical – meant as a fact - this is what they see). And good that Alīza (the baby's aunt) was with her in the hospital. They are changing her, they bath her and are changing her, (to) Rimṓn. She was just… She told them: What is it? Alīza (said). They told her, No, nothing, there is nothing. And she, all of her, was burnt really severely. And there was a mess about her in the hospital, and they wanted to fire the nurses from the hospital because… they (almost) killed her, they damaged the girl. And poor her (she was) forty days in the hospital.

B: Wow. A: They brought her fish oil. Till (the blisters) really dried a bit, and they took her home. And poor her, (the burn scars) remained. A small baby. Maybe… she wasn't even 7 days old. Poor her, what she suffered. Wow.

A: You fry meat, If you want to put meat in it. And if (it is) without meat, you fry onion and a little bit of oil, and you put a little bit of water to it… tomato paste with it. Also you bring .parsley. You chop a bundle of parsley and one of mint into small pieces.

?B: And what 

A: Mint. You chop it, you mix it together in… and you throw it on the water or the meat. And if it is without meat, put kǝbba. These small (kind of) kǝbba. Yes. you put it, And you add sour and sweet (ingredients) to it. We (used to) do it with… we don't have it (anymore). What's the name of this sour (ingredient)? Tamarind. Or lemon. a lemon… If you don't have tamarind, you squeeze a lemon, and you add sugar to it, And a little bit of salt. You pour it on the chard and the (parsley and mint). And you throw kǝbba on it. That's it.

?E: How much turnip

A: It depends on you. (Literally: isn't it your will?) According to the amount that you want to cook

 A: so I…. during that time… The lawyer ˀAnwar Šaˀūl, (who was) a poet and writer, you know… I was always in contact with him, Yes. He told me: Abraham, would you do me a favor? I told him: What's going on? he said: when I got married, the first (Iraqi) pilot, Nāği…

.B: Nāği, the pilot

A: Nāği, the pilot. When I got married, what did he give me as a present? He gave me the lid of a bomb, the one that hits an airplane. Its lid. and he wrote on it: "A gift for my marriage" and that. And there was another piece with it. Another piece of which I managed to get rid. But this lid, I am afraid to put it at home. It was the first Friday after the (Six Day's War), I told him: Wait! I will come. I went to their house. And I took it and put it in the (shopping) basket.

?...B: So he was afraid that they will catch him and

A: He was afraid… they (the Iraqi authorities) were searching the houses, they (the Jews) were afraid. Yes. Because it was (easy) to say what it is if you… it's clear what it is. I put it in the… (I put) it in the basket. And I put an eggplant on top of it. (laughs) Eggplant and tomatoes and I don't know what (else). As if it (was used for) vegetables. Yes. I put it in my car and I brought someone with me, a friend of mine from our relatives, I told him: Come with me. He (this friend) was a coward. B: And he knew, Or didn't he (know)?

A: No, He didn't know. Yes. I told him: Come with me. I took him and we drove the car through Bǝġdād ᵊğ-Ğadīda road, It was a new road they made from… the Tigris River till Dyāla. And it cuts Bǝġdād ᵊğ-Ğadīda from its edge and it became a place of parks and gardens and that. But in the mornings there was not a lot of traffic there (literally: there is no one driving in it so much). I took him with me and I sat down in the car. I told him: I am looking in the mirror, if I don't see a car behind me, people coming from behind, you, wherever it is, throw it from the door. Throw it and we will get rid of it. Indeed I came, I saw there isn't… we saw a piece of land with water and plantation that grows in it, I told him: Go ahead! Throw it! Indeed he threw it into the water and we came back. We came back to my house, suddenly I see that ˀAnwar Šaˀūl and another friend of mine were sitting there…

?B: Wait a minute! It means that (you didn't throw it) into the water of the river

...A: no, not in the river

B: But his name is written on it... A: No, no! We threw it just like this on the ground… It didn't have the name of ˀAnwar Šaˀūl on it. "My gift on the occasion of…" Yes. Indeed we threw it and got rid of it.